Monday, August 18, 2008

delaware on a saturday

95 south, route 13, kirk wood, route 9 whatever your posin is you are in total grid lock from 8am saturday morning to 11pm sunday night. what the fuck delaware? is mike phelps swimming through the road like a street sharks? no, the people in delaware just don't know how to drive.

when i was little i remember going to delaware almost every weekend. my parents could just be dragging me to 202 to eat at some stupid restaurant they want to eat at. it could just be a trip to the Christiana mall movie theater,or maybe we are planing a morning at the farmer's market. most likely, we had to go to Sears because my mom needed brand new gardening supplies that i would eventually be forced to use.

whatever the destination or rationale, delaware was the place to on the weekend.

since i started driving on my own i would be in delaware about 3 times a month and traffic has never been an issue... until recently. recently weekend delaware traffic has become worst then north jersey traffic on a week day or one of those internet sex shock videos. over the past year delaware has quickly become the little state with big traffic. 

although most of the half ass driving i see in delaware is done by middle aged adults, who don't have the foresight to judge traffic conditions and patterns of the state they live in and plan accordingly, i decided to find out what delaware is doing to prepare the future drivers not to be total fuck ups. so i did a little interneting to find out what the current requirements are to get a drivers license in delaware. all i could find was a few requirements you need.

  • 20/40 vision
  • a written test.  you can take a practice test for that. i did and got 90% on general knowledge and 100% on traffic sign identification.
  • 30 minuet road test on how well you handle the vehicle. 
this includes the following:
  1. vehicle safety inspection
  2. speed
  3. parallel parking-turning, signaling and intersections
  4. passing and lane changes
  5. following distance

so it seems like delaware is trying to shape up so my children and my childrens children do not have to deal with the shit i put up with and they can hear my stories of "once upon a time driving in delaware". you know, stuff like taking an hour to drive 5 miles on 13 or watching a woman on her cell phone drive 25 mph into the back of stopped vehicle and blame it on the african man's rap music or neatly fitted and styled baseball cap, or have to deal with some asshole who thinks its a good idea to ride my ass because that red light is gonna change faster the closer his engine gets to my nut sack, or just straight up getting on the topic of porn in dead stopped traffic because of all the adult book stores and have the conversation lead to your friend talking about how he likes to chew on his toenails.

anyway delaware traffic sucks, no way around that dude.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

lets start

As i drift into my 6th year of college my friends realized that between my non-real jobs and "dragon tales" books that i say some pretty bat shit crazy stuff. so, the result will be this blog, about nothing. 

this blog won't tackle series domestic issues or give thought provoking political insight, this blog is about the random shit that is to trivial for real people to worry about. 

this blog is about nothing.